Honesty is the Best Policy
by lightblue-Nymphadora
Summary: The Gleeks find themselves unable to lie after Brittany makes a peculiar birthday wish. Written for the Glee Fluff Meme. Brittana
1. Chapter 1

_**LbN: Written for the Glee Fluff Meme. The prompt was a Glee version of Liar Liar, in which Brittany (for whatever reason) wishes for a little more honesty around McKinley High... :)**_

* * *

When Santana rolled into Glee armed with two dozen gourmet cupcakes, there was nearly a stampede.

"Hey, hey!" she shouted. "Not until Brittany gets here. It is for her birthday after all. Speaking of which, I need to talk to you guys." She set the cupcake boxes on a chair and leaned against the piano. "You mind, Mr. Schue?"

"Go ahead, Santana."

"As most of you know…or maybe you don't, I don't know… Brittany's parents are pretty badass lawyers. Currently, they're involved in a pretty crazy case involving a kid and some Airsoft guns and the local Walmart. This means that they're going to be in Cleveland for the weekend, and will thus miss Britt's birthday."

"Oh, that sucks," Finn said. "Brittany looks forward to her birthday about as much as Christmas."

"That's why we're throwing her a party to take her mind off of things. Tomorrow, my place. And yes, you will be expected to participate in whatever goofy party game Britt wants to play."

"You're sweet, Santana," Tina said.

"Let's keep that on the low, Hong Kong."

"And…she's back," Kurt muttered with a smirk.

It was another five minutes before Brittany got there. When she did, Santana saw red. Literally and figuratively, because Brittany was covered in slushie.

Automatically, Kurt produced a package of wet wipes. He and Quinn rushed over to help Brittany.

"Who did it?" Quinn asked, in a voice that sent chills up everyone's spine.

It took a minute for Brittany to calm down. "It was Pierce and Logan—from the hockey team. They told me the school was going to tear down the statue of William McKinley, and that there was a petition on statue to keep it. I like the statue…. They lied."

"Yeah, they did, Britt," Santana said gently, hoping her best friend/almost girlfriend didn't burst into tears again.

"I hate it when people lie. Everyone should just tell the truth. It's so much easier."

From the look Quinn gave her, Santana knew the blonde was thinking the same thing as her—telling the truth with this group? All aboard the drama train…. "Right, well…let's go rinse your hair out, and then we can have cupcakes. And I'll deal with the puckheads tomorrow."

Mr. Schue cringed. "Santana, remember retaliation doesn't solve anything. You don't want to do anything to get into trouble."

"You're only in trouble if you get caught."

* * *

Taking her previous musings on rule breaking into account, Mr. Schue was kind enough to turn a blind eye to the lighter Santana had smuggled in. Brittany was delighted with her duck-shaped cupcakes. The Gleeks did an impressive rendition of Happy Birthday, and Brittany, after a moment's pause, blew out the candles. The smoke lifted into the air for a moment as her friends clapped.

"What'd you wish for, Brittany?" Artie asked as Mr. Schue turned on the lights.

"Can't tell you, Artie," she said, licking the icing off of her cupcake. "It won't come true."

The rest of them shared a smile as Brittany happily explained the process of wish-making.


	2. Chapter 2

**Honesty is the Best Policy**

"Morning Mom," Quinn said, stealing a slice of bacon.

"Morning Quinnie," Judy replied. "You seem chipper this morning. Good dreams?"

"Very," Quinn said, glad her mom was looking the other way and couldn't see her blush.

"What did you dream about? You can learn a lot from your dreams you know."

"Rachel and I were staring in Wicked on Broadway, and we had sex on Glinda's bed," Quinn answered.

There was silence in the kitchen. Judy had paused with her cup of coffee halfway to her lips. Quinn had stopped assembling her breakfast. Both stood facing each other, unsure of what to do.

Quinn couldn't believe she'd said that! She'd meant to stop at "Broadway," but the rest had come tumbling out like balls in the Chuck E. Cheese play pit.

"Quinn… is there something…you need to tell me?" Judy asked.

She had a lie ready. Something along the lines of _Oh-I-ate-a-hoagie-before-bed-and-that-last-part-was-just-my-stomach-messing-with-my-head_. However, to her horror, she heard herself say, "I kind of like Rachel and I want to ask her out." WHAT THE HELL? What was wrong with her?

"Oh," Judy said, very obviously trying to suppress the rising Right Wing Panic she felt. "Well…if that's what you want. Perhaps this is just…something you need to get out of your system. Anyway, no big deal!" she finished in far too high of a voice.

"I'm…going to get ready for Brittany's party," Quinn said. She left her breakfast on the counter and made a dash for the stairs.

* * *

"Hey boys!" Burt called.

"Morning Dad."

"Sup Burt?"

"Do you boys have any plans for today?" Carole asked.

"We're going to Brittany's party later on," Finn said. "Pass the eggs, Kurt."

"Brittany? Kurt, that's the one you fake-dated, right?" Burt asked.

"That's her."

"Wait, fake-date?" Carole asked. "Why were you fake-dating her?"

"Because he couldn't date me, and then Burt started hanging out with me and he was moping. Kurt needs attention."

"Finn!"

"It's okay Carole," Kurt said. "It's also true. Though I got over Finn when I looked at his track record with the Glee girls. Really Finn, the whole 'Only wanting her when you can't have her' thing is only cute in Twilight."

Burt looked back and forth between the two teens. "Did you two have a fight or something last night?"

"No, we watched Shaun of the Dead and fell asleep on the couch," Finn said, sounding just as confused as Burt.

"We're just…being honest," Kurt told him. It sounded like the words were having a hard time coming out.

Burt looked at Carole and shrugged.

* * *

By the time everyone got to Santana's house, they were all in various states of shock and/or panic. She held up her hands as they all tried to talk at once. "Whoa, hold up! What the hell is wrong with all of you?"

"Have you…talked to anyone today?" Quinn asked hesitantly.

"Only Brittany. Why?"

"Er…were you a little more honest with her than normal?"

"I'm always honest with Britt. For the most part. Why? What's wrong?"

"We can't stop telling the truth," Finn answered.

"I don't know what happened," Mike said. "One minute my dad was laying into me about how dance wasn't going to get me into medical school, and the next he was crying. I think I said something about how I would rather be a stripper than a doctor, but it's all a blur now…."

Tina took his hand supportively. "I told my parents that I'd contemplated becoming a cafeteria lady so I could flick food at kids."

"What did you confess, Quinn?" Mercedes asked, seeing Quinn's supremely uncomfortable look.

Quinn glared at her, even as the words came tumbling from her lips. "I told my mom that I wanted to date Rachel."

This earned a gasp for Kurt and an excited squeal from the diva.

"No way!" Rachel said. "I told my dads that I've been in love with you since we did the I Feel Pretty duet last year!"

Brittany, who had come in in the middle of the conversation, beamed and clapped her hands. "Oh good! My wish came true!"

As one, the group turned to her. Artie, almost afraid to know the answer, asked, "What wish, Brittany?"

"Yesterday, when we had the duck cupcakes in Glee, I wished for everyone to be honest for the weekend."

"THE WEEKEND?" Everyone yelped.

"Yeah. That way no one could lie and hurt people," she explained, as if it were the most logical thing in the world.

Santana thought about telling her that the truth could hurt as well, but what was the point? Plus there was a more pressing matter—she had to get through this weekend without coming out to absolutely everyone she came in contact with…. "Alright, look…we know what's going on now. That's a start. So let's just have the party and then we can worry about it later."

* * *

Easier said than done.

During Pin the Tail on the Donkey, Puck admitted that Rachel had the finest ass he'd ever seen (which confused the bejeesus out of Mercedes).

During Duck, Duck, Goose, Kurt told Mike that his dancing made him horny.

As they watched the Care Bears Movie, Quinn whispered to Rachel that she really wasn't into Broadway, but would be more than willing to suffer through as many viewings of Funny Girl as long as they could cuddle.

Tina told everyone that she'd once seriously considered trying out for the Cheerios.

Finn admitted that he HAD tried out for the Cheerios.

And Santana…. Santana kept her mouth shut and hoped for the best.

While they ate pizza, the Gleeks discussed the recent turn of events. No one could figure out why the wish had come true. Artie nodded slightly to Brittany and Santana got the hint.

"Britt, come help me with the cake."

Once they'd left, Artie said quietly, "It makes sense if you think about it."

"How?" Mercedes and Kurt asked in unison.

"This is Brittany we're talking about," Artie said. "Think about it: when was the last time you actually _believed_ in the wish you made?"

They were all silent.

"Exactly," he continued. "Brittany believes this stuff—believes it with all of her heart. Things we chalk up to coincidence, she sees as magic. I mean, she asked Santa for me to be able to walk, and I got a freaking machine that helps me do it! It's Brittany, guys."

Just then, Brittany and Santana entered with the cake (a pond this time, with duck cupcakes sitting on top). Santana set it down on the table and handed Finn the server. "No candles this time."

It was going to be a long weekend.


	3. Chapter 3

**Honesty is the Best Policy**

The Gleeks had decided that the best course of action was to stay away from their parents and the rest of the Lima population for the weekend. They were terrified about what was happening to the rest of the town, but they weren't about to go out and explain jack.

Santana let everyone stay at her place, since her parents were out of town for two weeks. She spent most of Sunday in a panic. Brittany kept looking over at her and smiling. She knew, any minute now, her favorite dancer was going to ask or say something that Santana was not prepared to answer. It was making her snippy. More snippy than normal.

"Santana," Brittany said, pulling her into the guest room. "I know you're nervous, but calm down. I'm not going to make you come out to anyone. I'm just really happy everyone's being so honest. I promise I won't say anything. Please calm down; you're going to make Blaine cry."

"Not hard."

"Santana…."

"Okay," she sighed. "I get it."

"One other thing?"

"Yeah, Britt?"

"Do you love me?"

"Yes." Santana smirked at her and linked their pinkies.

Brittany smiled brightly as they walked back down the hall to the living room. "Where are Rachel and Quinn?" she asked.

The Cheerio and the Diva were conspicuously absent. They'd been cooing over each other all day, so the fact that everyone could actually hear the movie drew attention to the fact that they were missing. The group exchanged a look.

"_Aye, dios mio_! Are they upstairs having sex?" Santana nearly shouted.

With an apologetic look, Blaine answered, "We might have told them to get a room…."

"Blaine did tell them to stay away from your room though," Kurt added helpfully.

"At least there's that," Santana said. She'd have to call a priest over to bless the bed if she found out the Dwarf had had sex in it.

"Let's play a game," Puck suggested. "Not Truth or Dare," he added, seeing everyone's Look. "Santana, your mom still have the game closet?"

"Yep. Pick a few—I'm tired of movies."

Over the next few hours, they played Apples to Apples, Twister (during which Artie demanded to be called Supreme Lord Gamemaster), a shortened version of Monopoly, Don't Wake Daddy (which led to some very inappropriate jokes), Life, and Quelf. Sometime during the marathon, Quinn and Rachel made it back downstairs, both sporting "Just Got Fucked" hair.

"Stayed away from my bed?" Santana asked.

"Of course, Santana," Rachel said. "We would never dream of having sex in your bed."

"Good."

"Besides," Quinn said, smirking evilly, "your parents' bed is so much more comfortable."

"WHAT?"

"Joking," Quinn laughed.

* * *

They opted for an early dinner and a movie. By the time the pizza arrived the Gleeks were ready to stop talking forever. Even though it was just their small group, and they'd all agreed to a vow of silence about this weekend, they still knew way more about each other than they had ever wanted to. And at some point, someone broke the cell phone rule and called their parents. Thus, the Cohen-Chang household now knew that Mike was head over heels for Tina, and wanted everyone to do the Thriller dance at their wedding. The confessions that afternoon ranged from the innocent:

"I just don't really like Wicked. Please don't cry, Kurt."

"I throw my rubber duckies into the bathtub first to test for sharks."

To the weird:

"I've always wondered what it would feel like if you could grow appendages back. You know, like a lizard's tail."

"I always know when my period's going to start, because I have dreams of being fucked by the entire starting lineup of the Denver Broncos. In alphabetical order."

"I can't poop unless I hum the Sesame Street theme song to myself."

To the insane:

"I want to learn Parkour and free jumping. I'd jump off everything. I'd be Batman."

"There are moments when I wonder if Mr. Schue is a closeted S&M fan."

"When I was nine, I really wanted to get kidnapped, because I thought they really would have candy at some point."

Santana kept an eye on the clock as she nibbled her pizza. By her calculations, there were only fifteen minutes left of this wish. She looked over at Brittany and smiled. True to her word, the blonde hadn't said or asked anything that would make Santana spill her secret. She'd given Santana a few looks, but the older Cheerio knew that she was safe with Brittany. That's why timing was very important right now….

As the minutes ticked by, a battle raged in the living room as to which movie they would watch that night.

"Come on! Star Wars sucks…." Blaine whined.

"Blasphemy!" Quinn cried. "And you have no room to talk, Warbler. You seriously want to watch _Return of the King_?"

"You want to watch _Return of the Jedi_!"

"How about _Return of Jafar_?" Puck joked. He slipped out of the room when the other two glared at him.

"It's the same 'hero's journey' bullshit!" Mercedes called from the kitchen. "Just pick something already!"

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!" Brittany suggested.

"I agree," Santana said, glancing at the clock and smiling.

"You're just trying to get laid," Finn said.

"Unlike some people in this room," Santana said with a pointed look at Finn and Puck, "Not everything I do is to get into Brittany's pants. I happen to like Ninja Turtles. Plus, I love Britt."

The room got quiet. Brittany beamed at her. The rest just stared.

Santana wiped her palms on her jeans. "What?"

"You love her? Like…bestie love, right?" Tina asked.

"No. Like actual love. We're dating. At least, kind of dating. Want to make it official, Britt?"

Brittany just smiled, nodded, and tackled Santana into a hug.

"Wow…Brittany's got some powerful wishing skills if it made Santana come out," Mike mused.

"I'd like to direct everyone's attention to the clock," Santana said. It was four thirty-five. "Britt made her wish at four thirty on Friday. We've been able to dodge truth telling for exactly five minutes. It wasn't the wish that made me come out."

Kurt nodded approvingly as the rest just stared with disbelief. Finally, Puck grabbed another slice of pizza and broke the silence. "Well, are we going to watch this movie or not?"

* * *

"Santana…why?" Brittany asked quietly. She hadn't stopped smiling since Santana's announcement.

Santana smiled back at her girlfriend. "You clammed up earlier, when we were playing Life. Puck said something about couples, and you didn't really talk for the rest of the game. You always keep your promises," she added. "I just…yeah, I'm scared of the reaction we're going to get. I'm scared of getting hurt, or someone hurting you. But I love you. And I think telling our friends is okay. I mean…they don't seem to mind. And if the shit hits the fan later, we have them to lean on now."

Brittany laughed and nodded. "I'm glad we're dating."

"Me too, Britt," Santana said, yawning.

"And I'm glad you told because you wanted to, and not just because of my wish."

Santana grinned and kissed her. "Honesty is the best policy, right? Night Britt."


End file.
